Crisp-loving football fan to boycott walking in protest of Gary Lineker

In a move the portly gentleman described as his way of sticking it to the “champagne socialist”, a football fan and crisp-lover today announced that he will boycott walking in protest of Gary Lineker. Angrily bemoaning the outspoken political beliefs…

Sky sources killed after falling out of transfer window

In a tragic accident which has provoked sorrow throughout the entire Sky corporation, Sky Sports News today confirmed that hundreds of its sources have died after falling out of the transfer window. The incident, which reportedly occurred earlier today, saw…