Van Gaal admits Rooney KO left striker thinking it was 2008

(Photograph: Kieran McManus/BPI/REX)

(Photograph: Kieran McManus/BPI/REX)

Today Manchester United treated fans to the sort of performance not seen for a long time at Old Trafford, or elsewhere. Van Gaal’s boys tore Spurs to shreds in the first half, going in 3-0 up at half time. The crowd were flummoxed at what was being offered up, some even sacrificing animals, believing this to be the only way to keep the standard of football at such a level.

Despite not scoring in the second half, it was the sort of performance and win much needed after last week’s FA Cup exit. One of the game’s most impressive performers was captain Wayne Rooney, who scored one as well as being at the forefront of much of his side’s good play. Many had worried that his performance would be effected after being knocked out by punch while play-boxing Stoke’s Phil Bardsley in his kitchen during the week.

(Photo: Anna News)

(Photo: Anna News)

However his manager Louis van Gaal, speaking after the match, stated that any worries were misplaced. “I must admit that we were a little worried watching the video. I called over to Wayne’s home immediately to see how he was. He was only just waking up but seemed in good spirits,” said the manager and part-time @vonstrenginho Vine star. “Still, we were all set to drive him to the doctors for tests. That was until we noticed that he thought it was 2008. He kept saying how sad it was that Heath Ledger was dead and saying he hoped John McCain would become American president. It was all very strange.”

This sort of reaction to a blunt force trauma is apparently not unusual and many coma patients have woken up in the past having forgotten huge chunks of time. Van Gaal delayed bringing Rooney to the doctor in the hope that if his mind was in 2008, perhaps his body was also. And it would appear the manager’s gamble has paid off, to an extent. He explained, “Make no mistake, he’s very ill. Even a slight knock to the head could have done irreparable damage, but 2008 Rooney was a dangerous beast, and we had to try that out today.” 

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