The streets of cities all across Ukraine were teeming with jubilant people of all ages today after UEFA’s €15000 fine to Dynamo Kiev for abusing Everton players during the Europa League game last week brought about the end of racism in the war torn nation.
The fine was handed down last night after a ten minute investigation and the ruling passed along to media outlets this morning, with racial attitudes all over the eastern European country reportedly changing instantaneously.
Sources noted people descending to the streets, with angry white old men hugging people they once spat at and booed.
One former racist we spoke to was confused but seemingly happy. “I’m not sure what happened. Just last week I was calling Romelu Lukaku a monkey but it appears that now, after this UEFA ruling, I’m suddenly no longer a racist. It will take some adjustment but I want to thank Mr. Platini for his bravery in helping this happen and certainly not putting it on the back burner because he doesn’t care about it.”
This unprecedented set of events has been greeted with joy by the thousands of non-whites in eastern Europe who can now live their lives without fear of reproach.