The four horsemen, worldwide chaos, silence and of course, Sean St Ledger dating Taylor Swift. All signs of the apocalypse, each one of them something most of us had considered a myth or some religious hocus pocus until today when the Ireland international and Orlando City player refused to deny rumours of a relationship with the singer.
World leaders were quick to congregate this evening to discuss possible measures to somehow avoid our imminent destruction but are believed to have found no solution to the end of days. American president Barack Obama took to the airwaves from his presidential bunker to tell citizens to stay indoors, avoid contact with the outside world and above all else, to tell their loved ones that they love them. When asked if the situation meant that it’s time for citizens to crack each other’s heads open and feast on the goo inside, he stated bluntly, “Yes”.
St Ledger is believed to be mildly perturbed by the news but is said to be in good spirits, even joking that people should have seen it coming when he became teammates with Kaka. He is said to be able to appreciate the irony of bringing about Earth’s destruction despite making no real impact on the world of football.
The Banter Narrative would like to say that it’s been a nice ride and we hope to see all of you on the big internet in the sky. Peace and love.
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