Fans look forward to summer off from pretending to know about European football

Dave stuck stickers to his laptop so his mates would know how much he loves soccer. It worked.

John stuck stickers to his laptop so his mates would know how much he loves soccer. It worked.

Football fans across Britain and Ireland are said to be relieved as they prepare to wind down their feigning of European football knowledge with the season’s end upon the horizon.

With just five or six games left in most European leagues, football fans exhausted from the effort that goes into obtaining and using this superficial knowledge will have a well-deserved break come May.

“It’s been a long hard season of pretending to know what I’m talking,” said John Kelly from Dublin. “In a lot of ways pretending to know things about continental football is harder than actually knowing about it. To keep up with things on Twitter, and always be on guard to recommend European players who would be ideal for Premier League teams, is knackering. So it’ll be nice to put the feet up.”

Kelly – who describes himself as an advocate of “gegenpressing” without going into further detail – said that it’s like a full time job. “It’s like a full time job. Literally, I don’t have a job, so this is my full time job. With the amount of FIFA Ultimate Team and Football Manager that I play, as well as having to learn off correct pronunciations of foreign names and the names of formations, it’s very time consuming.”

Last summer was very busy for Kelly with the World Cup in Brazil but it won’t be all fun and games for the Cabra native during his time off. “That new side Carpi got promoted to Serie A this week, so I’m gonna have to read a few of their players’ stats on FIFA at some point during the summer. It’s tough work, but when I convince someone I know what I’m talking about on Twitter it makes it all worth it.”

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