In a stunning admission, FIFA president Sepp Blatter has revealed that only major human rights violators will be considered to host future World Cup competitions from 2026 onwards.
Speaking to CNN and various other major news networks, Mr. Blatter stated that only countries capable of showing an utter disregard for human safety and dignity would be deemed worthy of hosting his tournament. “FIFA has shown in recent times an undying commitment to having no regard for human life,” said the Swiss man. “And we’ll be damned if we cooperate with people who do.”
Blatter’s reasoning was that he doesn’t care about humans, their lives or their well-being. “A stadium built on a foundation of slave bodies is just sort of cool,” he added.
The admission is a notable change of tact from the long-time president of football’s governing body, who up until now has shunned the idea of being pure evil.
The news is expected to be welcomed warmly by the majority of world leaders.
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