FIFA’s Jack Warner paid $10M for “being awesome” explains South African FA

Jack Warner - awesome. (Photo: Pundit Arena)

Jack Warner – awesome. (Photo: Pundit Arena)

The South African Football Association has gone some way to clearing up the confusion over whether or not it paid a $10M bribe to former FIFA member Jack Warner by stating that they did indeed pay him that sum, for “being awesome.”

The controversy over the payment – what many consider to have been a bribe – is said to have been the final straw leading up to Sepp Blatter’s announcement last night that he will soon step down as FIFA president. The South African FA though explained the payment in a press conference today.

“Jack is super cool – a real nice guy, always smiling. He’s done a lot for us. So we gave him ten million dollars,” said the FA spokesperson. “If your friends are nice to you you might buy them chocolate or tickets to a concert to say thanks. This is exactly the same.”

The spokesperson stated that “being awesome payments” were commonplace in their football association and throughout the wider footballing world and would continue until further notice. He also added, “I wouldn’t expect Jack to give the money back, unless he stops being awesome. Which, believe me, will never happen.” 

The press conference ended with a chorus of high-fives among the officials.

If you liked what you read – share and follow The Banter Narrative on Twitter here.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.