Local man pushes back joining five a side team until next summer “at the latest”


Local man John Kurtz is said to have has pushed back joining a five-a-side football team until next summer at the latest, according to sources close to his family.

The 31 year old has intimated to close friends that he feels next year would be a more suitable time for him to join a local five a side football team, citing his “total lack of free time” as a reason.

“Next year just makes more sense all round,” said Kurtz today. “Work will undoubtedly be a little less stressful and I’m sure I’ll have time do the things I truly enjoy and want to do.”

According to his sister Lucinda this is the fifth consecutive year Mr. Kurtz has pushed back joining a team. “He can just never find the time, it’s such a shame,” she said. “He really loves football so I hope he can find join a team at some point.”

Kurtz is said to regularly bemoan never being able to spare just one measly evening per week to join his friends and actually make his heart beat in a somewhat athletic fashion.

A close friend of Kurtz shared his torment. “Every time we drive past a five a side pitch on the way to the pub John looks forlornly and says he wishes he could find the time to play,” said Brandon Frame. “He’s always talking about wanting to get fit so I can see how much it would mean to him, it’s just sad.”

Kurtz has insisted that if anything should happen in the next year that prevents him from returning to play football, he’ll definitely do so the year after.

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