LAD Bible readership expected to become extinct by 2090, says anthropological study

Extinct

The entire LAD Bible readership is expected to become extinct before the end of this century, according to research conducted by prominent anthropologists.

The study, conducted over the past two years, found that the intelligence level, opinions and life choices of the LAD Bible’s readership left them open to mass extinction by the year 2090.

“It’s simple evolution,” said Professor Ernest Cartridge, lecturer of anthropology at Cambridge University. “Given the overwhelming train of thought and types of opinion among the LAD Bible readership, their days on this earth are numbered.”

The study, released today and entitled The Vacuous Mind Of A LAD, details how many of the deep seeded beliefs held by the readership, such as homophobia, sexism and misogyny, make them prime targets to be dominated and eventually killed off by the fast evolving world which they inhabit.

Key to the prediction of their ultimate demise, said Professor Cartridge, was their outdated views of women. “Any group with a collective mindset such as theirs will find it difficult in the long term to procreate. It’s only a matter of time before they roam the earth, grunting, heaving and shouting ‘LAD!’ and eventually, die out.”

He did state however that their extinction was necessary for the human race to continue unabated.

“It’s a bit like dinosaurs,” he added. “Future generations will be curious about these prehistoric creatures, but will be ultimately better off for not having to coexist with them.”

The news has been widely welcomed by all inhabitants of planet earth.

Share and follow The Banter Narrative on Twitter.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.