Sepp Blatter unveils plans to build monorails in Brockway, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook

Sepp Blatter received a rapturous reception from the crowd.

Sepp Blatter received a rapturous reception from the crowd.

FIFA president Sepp Blatter today unveiled plans to build monorails in the American cities of Brockway, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook.

Blatter announced the ambitious plans at a press conference this afternoon in his hometown of Visp, attended by various members of the media, as well as the mayors of the respective towns.

“There’s nothing on earth like a genuine, bona fide, electrified, six car monorail,” said the FIFA president.

Blatter impressed the crowd with his charm and confidence, as well as assuring that the monorails would provide cushy jobs for brain dead slobs.

He also ensured the crowd that he’s on the level and alleviated any potential worries about noise pollution by confirming that the monorails glide as gently as a cloud.

Blatter wrapped up the meeting by offering a member of the attending crowd the use of his pen knife before exiting the press conference to rapturous applause and singing.

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