Prominent fitness coach Raymond Verheijen has blamed “incompetent training and prehistoric methods” for Greece’s ongoing financial crisis, after breaking his silence on the issue today.
After months without comment, the outspoken Dutchman today took aim at football’s old fashioned way of doing things, insisting that until the game gets up to speed with modern techniques, Greece will remain insolvent.
The coach, who has a Masters in sports psychology, admitted that though creditors’ draconian terms for a bailout hadn’t helped, Greece would never see its financial prospects improve until football – and especially English football – updated its training methods.
“They’re all dinosaurs,” said Verheijen outside of his home today. “Their methods are prehistoric. People insist that Greek debt must be restructured but when it comes to muscle tears this regularly you simply have to look at the day to day methods used.”
Verheijen reaffirmed his belief that only a total change in training methods would help the Greek people out of the shackles of austerity. “People need to rest. When coaches don’t allow a player to properly rest you end up with banks closed, limits of ATM withdrawals and worse. People know I’m right.”
“When players are overplayed they accumulate injuries and muscle injuries can lead to financial meltdowns in unstable global economies,” he stated. “Football must take these injuries seriously, or the cycle of unsustainable debt will continue.”
Verheijen cited Ireland’s implementation of Dutch training methods and their subsequent slow yet steady recovery from recession.
At press time Verheijen confirmed that he had submitted his proposal for Greek economic recovery to prime minister Alex Tsipras – which is said to include stretching, regular massages, rest days and frequent monitoring of muscle tears.
“You don’t have to be Einstein to know this will work,” he added.
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