Aberdeen confirm hawk hired to fight off Pittodrie seagulls has gone rogue

Aberdeen had hoped Jimmy would help their seagull problem.

Aberdeen had hoped Jimmy would help their seagull problem.

Less than 24 hours after hiring a hawk to deal with the aggressive seagulls causing trouble at their Pittodrie stadium, Aberdeen have announced that the bird of prey has gone rogue and joined the very flock he was recruited to fight off.

The club had hired the hawk, named Jimmy, after hundreds of complaints from fans and the general public regarding the behaviour of local seagulls who had defecated around the area and attacked several people.

It was hoped the recruitment of the three year old hawk, originally from Edinburgh, would bring order back to the stadium and its surroundings areas, but it would appear those hopes are now lost after Jimmy defected to the seagulls at approximately 3PM local time.

He has since been spotted loitering around Pittodrie with his new partners in crime, and has left what the club call “dirty shitty messes” on several club officials’ cars.

“We are all devastated with the behaviour of Jimmy,” said a short club statement. “We hired him in good faith, he had great references, but he just turned his back on us.”

“What’s more,” added the club. “He knows our weaknesses now.”

At press time the club were putting pen to paper on a deal to hire a lion named Titan to fight off the strengthened group of birds.

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