Sepp Blatter and Jerome Valcke announce plans to open car wash in Albuquerque, New Mexico

Blatter and Valcke outside of their new business.

Blatter and Valcke outside of their new business.

A day after revealing that they would leave FIFA together come February, Sepp Blatter and Jerome Valcke have today revealed that they will open a car wash in Albuquerque, New Mexico upon stepping down from football’s governing body.

The two colleagues and close friends confirmed yesterday that they would leave the organisation upon the election of a new president, prompting commentators to ponder their next move.

Speaking to assembled journalists outside their new premises, the two administrators stated that opening a car wash in the sun drenched American city made sense, citing how respectable and sensible a business it is.

“We’ve been discussing it for a while,” admitted Blatter. “We’ve always liked the idea of getting out of this murky football world, moving to America and setting up a totally transparent, watertight and profitable business.”

Blatter added that he and Valcke had gathered their life savings and purchased an already operating car wash in the city, which they will call the A1A Car Wash.

“We’ve always prided ourselves on doing an A1 job, no matter what we’re doing, so it just made sense,” explained Valcke. “We will wash cars, like any legitimate car wash.”

“To work in a simple, honest, legitimate business world will be a treat,” said Blatter. “It will be a relief not having to worry about corruption or illegality in this legitimate business of ours.”

Blatter added that he was looking forward to a quiet working life from February onwards, generating millions of dollars through his medium sized businesses.

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