According to reports in the media, Barcelona attacker Pedro will sign for Manchester United if and when either club announce the deal and you actually see him in the damn jersey.
The La Masia graduate has been linked with Louis van Gaal’s side for some time after it emerged that he has a release clause of around £30 million in his contract.
Sources close to the deal revealed to the media today that “you’ll know Pedro has signed for Manchester United when they announce it, okay?” and that “really, all this talking about it isn’t making the deal go any quicker”.
“Do you really care that much about this?” added the source. “Or are you actually just filling your empty life up with vacuous non-news that really, deep down, does not affect you in any way shape or form? All so you can avoid facing reality.”
Pedro is believed to favour a move to Manchester United ahead of other potential destinations, although sources have claimed that “speculation is fucking pointless because no-one really has any idea” and that “it will happen when it happens”.
At press time, sources have encouraged people to act like adults and get on with their lives until further notice, at which point it still won’t actually make any difference to their lives.
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