A “cool as heck” and “badass” looking Lionel Messi rocked up to Barcelona training today alongside his new motorcycle gang, according to sources at the club.
Flanked either side by morbidly obese, middle aged members of his new gang, the leather clad allegedly Messi arrived four minutes late today for light training after last night’s Gamper game against AS Roma.
The Argentine forward is believed to have grown increasingly cheeky to authority figures recently, regularly telling Barcelona officials to “shove it” and “sit on it” while greasing his hair.
While many had attributed Messi’s return to his imperious best last season to a change in diet, it has been confirmed by club officials that despite no longer eating junk food, Messi has taken to chewing tobacco during training.
He is also said to have moved out of his luxury villa in the city, choosing instead to sleep on dirt roads and soiled blankets with his new group.
Several members of staff have complained about the drone of engine revving from Messi’s biker cohorts every time he touches the ball in training.
“It’s a distraction, I must admit,” said coach Luis Enrique. “We could live with the tax evasion, even turning a blind eye to the visit to an African dictator. But it’s very hard to ignore several hundred burly bikers threatening the squad and staff daily.”
“We’ll speak to Lionel but it’s getting increasingly hard to get through to him. As you could see in the match last night, his behaviour is a problem,” added his friend and strike partner Neymar.
But Messi’s biker friend, Hacksaw, disagreed that there was an issue. “Lionel, or Bones as we call him, is a great dude. He’s badass and his tats are rad,” he said while scribing a homemade tattoo of the record goalscorer into his arm.
At press time, Messi and his new gang were tailgating outside the Camp Nou, with several fires burning and music blaring well into the night.
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