Football fans turning increasingly feral as transfer window nears end


With reports of biting, spitting and screaming, football fans are said to be turning feral in their thousands as the transfer window nears its end, according to leading anthropologists.

The transfer window closes in just over a week, with the impending closure said to be turning thousands of football fans into even more animal-like creatures than they were previously.

Widespread reports of hissing, biting, growling and gnawing on keyboards have caused concern among leading anthropologists.

“It’s not the feral nature per se, but the increased level of it,” said Professor Will Crimp of Trinity College, Dublin. “Previous studies had deduced that this sector of football fans were unable to regress any further. What we’re seeing now is unnerving.”

“These things are less human than ever,” he added.

Among the increasingly violent outbursts, many Twitter users have noted responses of “Fuck you” and “Knobhead, LOL” to any tweet pertaining to transfers.

Professor Crimp stated that it was hard to understand what the exact catalyst for the behaviour is.

“These acts are reminiscent of a dying breed. It’s odd. It’s like they know they’ll soon have little to exist for.”

Sources have indicated that their behaviour will get increasingly aggressive and wild the closer the transfer window gets to closing, with social media users being warned to not engage with them “under any circumstances”.

Despite the worries, anthropologists have stated that once the transfer window shuts, normality should return.

“One can never be sure with unpredictable beings like these, but we expect that this cohort of fans should go back to sexually harassing women and racially abusing people online sooner rather than later.”