Report: General public still surprised by frequent new lows of clickbait football journalism


Despite having had years to grow accustomed to it as well as constant daily exposure to it, the general public is still repeatedly surprised by the depths that clickbait football journalism sinks to, these are the findings of a breakthrough study by the International Association of Applied Psychology.

“Each new listicle, articles with pictures that take up more space than words, 100 word transfer pieces or an article about a tweet someone just sent – each one of these continues to astonish the most ardent of football readers,” read the report, adding trying to pretend it doesn’t bother you only makes it worse.

The most surprising finding, according to the one of the authors behind the report, Dr. Glynn Day, was the revelation that a reader’s exposure to clickbait has little effect on the ultimate reaction.

“This was extremely interesting. For years we had assumed that subjects who were given heavy, minute by minute doses of clickbait would eventually get used to it, but they don’t. If anything they get more shocked by it. And eventually die.”

There is nothing on earth to remedy or prevent clickbait football journalism, says the report, adding that by 2100 clickbait will kill more people than malaria.

Dr. Day stated that the findings suggest a link to humankind’s ingrained instinct to assume things will eventually improve which of course is not true. “The root of readers’ anger and surprise appears to be that they expect click bait to change, or stop.”

“In many ways clickbait football journalism is providing a useful public service,” said Dr. Day. “The consistent, unapologetic nature of it mirrors the brutality of life in too many ways to count.”

At press time the team behind the report had announced plans to use further research into clickbait football journalism to prove once and for all that God doesn’t exist.

Share and follow The Banter Narrative on Twitter.