Thousands of Man Utd fans suffer whiplash after 180 degree change of opinion on manager Louis van Gaal


Thousands of Manchester United fans are recuperating in hospital this afternoon after suffering severe whiplash in what has been described as a mass rapid 180 degree change of opinion towards manager Louis van Gaal.

The incident is believed to have occurred shortly after Manchester United’s 2-1 away defeat to Swansea City on Sunday afternoon, with many questioning whether the manager is the right man to lead the club forward having hailed him as a genius after the club’s qualification for the Champions League group stage last week.

Many of the injured have complained of neck, shoulder and back pain after the unprecedented and violent flip in point of view.

“We simply can’t stress enough just how dangerous it is to change your opinion this quickly,” said Dr. Phil Meat, of Manchester General Hospital. “Of course, changes in opinion are natural but we’d recommend that you do it slowly and with consideration, over a number of weeks. The body can’t take this sort of rapid turnaround without getting severely injured.”

Medical organisations have seen a sharp rise in these sort of impact injuries in recent years, with one recent report stating that “people appear unable to retain one opinion for more than a week or so, causing huge pressure on the neck and spine” as they “career wildly” from point of view to point of view.

In response to what professionals are describing as a “public health epidemic”, hundreds of thousands of leaflets have been made available at football matches to inform fans of the dangers of spontaneous and ill-conceived changes of opinion.

The recovery of the injured will depend largely on what position they take from here on out, said Dr. Meat. “It’s up to them. If they’re sensible and have slow, thoughtful changes of opinion in future, they’ll be fine. If we see them suddenly call Louis van Gaal a visionary should they defeat Liverpool in their next game, they’ll be in trouble again.”

Authorities are said to be on alert for a recurrence in injuries should Manchester United sign a striker in the final hours of the transfer window.

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