Jorge Mendes readies nest for hibernation after long and fruitful transfer season


Saying that it’s been great and he can’t wait to do it all over again, football super agent Jorge Mendes has revealed that he is readying his nest for hibernation until January after a highly successful and fruitful transfer season.

Gathering sticks, clay, weeds and moss while filling his warm woolly belly with berries and cream, Mendes was visibly tired after a summer of generating millions upon millions of euros.

“It’s been really good,” said the Portuguese agent. “But at the end of it all you can’t beat coming back to your snug hole in the ground and sleeping for four months.”

Mendes stated that though the spoils were less than this time last year, he’s far from concerned.

“I live off the land so I can only work with what’s in front of me,” said Cristiano Ronaldo’s representative while lining his nest with currencies of different kinds.

Mendes admitted that he was thankful for the end of the current window and will now merely occupy himself with thoughts of keeping warm and safe in his 6 foot by 3 foot burrow, in an unknown location in continental Europe.

Before adding the final touches to his home for the next four months, Mendes hit back at claims that he has an undue influence on the world game.

“I’m just one man. At the end of the day, when all is said and done I sleep mere centimetres from the surface of the earth like everyone else.”