Man Utd hire task force to devise new ways to troll Real Madrid over failed De Gea transfer


Manchester United have hired a task force to devise new and more elaborate ways to troll Real Madrid over their unsuccessful pursuit of David De Gea, according to sources within the club.

Having seemingly foiled a late bid from the Spanish club for their goalkeeper and signed him to a new four year contract, the club have made it a priority to embarrass and abuse the La Liga club systematically over the rest of the season.

The club have already rebuked Madrid’s list of grievances over the way the deal was done, also realising photos on Twitter with the hashtag “#DaveStays”, but are said to be unsatisfied with the frequency of their trolling.

Such is the size of the task at hand that the club have hired close to 100 people to lead the trolling and devise more elaborate ways of doing so.

“Ed Woodward, our CEO, has made it the top priority,” said one member of staff. “He realises that De Gea may not be here for much longer than a year, so he wants to achieve all he can within that time frame.”

“Madrid acted very badly in their dealings with the club, and we consider it our prerogative to make them feel as silly as possible,” the source added.

At press time, Woodward had assigned the entire task force to add captions to photographs of De Gea smiling in different ways.

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