Nervous Brendan Rodgers refusing to look at phone


Desperately trying to ignore it while simultaneously resisting the urge to check it, a nervous Brendan Rodgers tonight confirmed that he will continue to ignore any and all calls received on his mobile phone.

Increasingly under pressure, several media outlets have reported that Rodgers’ bosses are looking at alternatives to him in the form of both Jurgen Klopp and Carlo Ancelotti. Rodgers however remains resolute.

“Initially I set my phone to silent, then after getting some phantom vibrations I turned off that setting too. I might close the blinds too while I’m at it, bunk in for the night,” said Rodgers while plugging out his landline.

Fully aware of the scrutiny currently on him, as well as the cut throat nature of modern football, Rodgers has decided to do everything in his armoury to avoid becoming the first Premier League manager to lose his job this season.

“The way I see it is, if they can’t get hold of me, they can’t sack me,” admitted the Northern Irishman, adding that he was also screening Facebook and WhatsApp messages on the off chance that the club attempted to contact him through his family or friends.

He rejected claims he was avoiding the inevitable, insisting instead that these sort of moments are “simply part and parcel of the high stakes world of top level management”.

At press time, Rodgers triumphantly placed his phone under a couch cushion as he pondered whether or not he should attend training on Friday.

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