Messi injury “better than any Ronaldo has ever had”


The injury suffered by Lionel Messi recently is better than any suffered by rival Cristiano Ronaldo during the course of his career, according to sources in the Catalan media.

Barcelona have confirmed that Messi’s availability remains in doubt over the injury, and that no exact date has been set for his return.

Local media outlets were quick to hail the injury, describing it as one of the cleanest, best executed muscle tears they had ever seen.

“This is a muscle tear to end all muscle tears,” said Sport journalist Cristina Perez. “The cleanliness of it is just indicative of Messi’s quality.”

Perez praised the length of prognosis as being “just long enough”, adding that it’s much longer than Ronaldo had faced on the sidelines through any injuries in recent years.

“What’s more, this is a beautifully intricate, delicate and complicated injury. Ronaldo’s injuries are rarely little more than blunt force.”

“Once again, Messi leaves Ronaldo in his formidable shadow,” she stated in her column today. “It seems that along each step of their careers Messi finds a way to belittle the Portuguese player.”

“What’s more, as he gets older, I expect his injuries to get all the better and more frequent – Cristiano better watch out.”

At press time, a furious Ronaldo was said to have been punching himself with increasing aggression in a bid to cause an even greater injury than Messi’s.