FIFA ethics committee suspends Sepp Blatter over “sickening, unethical treatment” of corporate sponsors

Blatter Sponsor

Saying that they couldn’t in good conscience allow such a horrible man to continue in such a prominent role, FIFA’s ethics committee today announced the 90 day suspension of president Sepp Blatter for what they described as “sickening and unethical treatment” of the organisation’s corporate sponsors.

Blatter, president of football’s governing body since 1998, has faced intensifying pressure amid increased scrutiny from law enforcement agencies in the United States, and just last week rejected calls from the organisation’s main sponsors to stand down.

Speaking from FIFA headquarters in Zurich today, the ethics committee said that Blatter’s defiant and cruel behaviour towards invaluable sponsors was the last straw.

“The time is right, this man cannot go on,” read a statement this evening. “These vulnerable and sensitive corporate sponsors like Coca Cola and McDonald’s are what make our game great. It’s disgusting for our president to treat them with such disdain.”

“What sort of ethics committee would we be if we refused to step in and help poor defenceless sponsors who are in desperate need for help?” they continued, adding that they could look past the migrant worker deaths in Qatar but that this was “a step too far”.

Describing the harrowing tale of one Fortune 500 CEO affected by Blatter’s treatment, the committee encouraged all sponsors affected to contact them immediately.

At press time, Blatter was said to have expressed regret for ever having given the ethics committee the power to suspend him in the first place, labelling it a “schoolboy error”.

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