Dutch Euro 2016 inquest just going to go ahead and blame foreigners


Explaining that the answer that requires the least thinking is most often the best, the Dutch FA’s inquest regarding the country’s failure to qualify for Euro 2016 is just going to go ahead and blame foreigners, sources confirmed today.

After what they described as a “highly fruitful and gratifying” 15 minute meeting this afternoon, the inquest consisting of senior Dutch FA figures stated that they soon realised their country’s fourth place finish was no fault of their own.

Speaking to assembled media outside FA headquarters, the committee revealed that while they have nothing in particular against foreigners, everyone else seemed to be blaming them for a host of things.

“We figured we’d just get on board with it,” said FA chief Michael van Praag. “If we do a little digging I’m sure they’re in some way to blame.”

“Someone at some point is going to mention them as a reason, so why not beat them to it?” added vice president Bert van Oostveen. “Heck, it’s not like we’re to blame, you know?”

The committee added that while they were at it, they had decided to blame all past and future failures on foreigners too.

At press time, the eight man committee was finalising plans on how exactly they would go about blaming them without sounding racist, adding that “this is always the hard part”.

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