Neymar at centre of fresh controversy over “super weird” haircut


Brazilian forward Neymar is at the centre of a fresh controversy today, while he fights allegations of financial misappropriation, as it emerged that both Spanish and Brazilian investigators are looking into the circumstances surrounding the player’s “weird as shit” haircut, sources revealed today.

“We can confirm that preliminary investigations are looking into severe irregularities in and around the area directly above Neymar’s forehead. It’s disgusting and absolutely unacceptable,” said a police spokesperson, adding that they wouldn’t allow such weirdly creepy haircuts to go unpunished.

“It’s the whole operation – the hairline, his head, the lot – we want to make a statement to the wealthy that you can’t just go around looking like a giant baby.”

Authorities have stated that they will look to conclude the investigation as quickly as possible so as to not allow the player to grow a slightly less ridiculous patch of hair back.

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