Louis van Gaal wondering how to leave Wayne Rooney at Goodison Park without anyone noticing

(Photo: Eamon, James Clarke)

(Photo: Eamon, James Clarke)

Describing it as the “toughest managerial decision” of his career, Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal has revealed that he is not quite sure how to leave captain Wayne Rooney at Goodison Park after Saturday’s match without anyone noticing.

“We highlighted Everton away as an important fixture from the very start of the season, if we can get out of there with a win and Wayne Rooney tied up and gagged somewhere in the vicinity of the stadium it will be a good springboard for the rest of the campaign,” said the Dutchman, adding that he would be relying on all members of his squad to provide a worthy distraction.

Van Gaal revealed that it was different in other leagues, where club security is not as stringent, meaning a club could leave unwanted players dotted around football grounds if they so desired.

“This is the Premier League, you cannot just leave a player somewhere without meticulous planning in place, I know this. We’ve been working on the training ground all week for this moment and I have every confidence that my players will put theory into practice so we’ll finally be rid of the oaf.”

At press time, Rooney was said to be delighted with how nice everyone was being to him and looking forward to a long future at the club.

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