Exciting Sunday Supplement format change sees journalists bleed out of eyes in silence for two hours


Described by some within the organisation as the bravest approach to football reporting in decades, Sky Sports have today announced an exciting format change to Sunday Supplement which will see journalists bleed profusely out of their eye sockets in silence for two hours.

Seen as a reaction to criticism over the show’s stale format and declining ratings, Sky Sports bosses unveiled the new format without any fanfare or advertising, instead surprising viewers today with their fresh new approach.

“While we always enjoyed the lads’ chats on a Sunday, we feel that this change gives our journalists the best opportunity to really showcase what they’re all about, but in a more succinct and expressive way,” said an unnamed source at the station, adding that the feedback to the guests losing large amounts of blood through their orifices in silent agony has been overwhelmingly positive.

“At the end of the day, this is the modern television world that we live in. You have to keep up with the times and give the people what they want. And this is what they want.”

At press time, a visibly sweating and pained Patrick Barclay was said to have weakly tapped twice on his leg when asked if he was happy with the new format.