Lonely British media interview crude effigy of Jose Mourinho after Chelsea defeat to Stoke


Describing his mood as “sombre yet bullish”, lonely British journalists today interviewed a crude home made effigy of Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho after his side’s 1-0 defeat away to Stoke City.

Mourinho was banned from the stadium due to an altercation with a referee last weekend, leading Daily Mail journalist Martin Samuel to piece together a hellish model of the Portuguese manager for himself and his colleagues to interview after the game.

Beaming upon the sight of the barely recognisable representation of the coach, members of the media immediately noticed his slumped posture and lack of eyes, attributing them to the stresses of his side’s current woes and not his being made of paper and old pillows.

“He’s really not very talkative today, that’s for sure. That steely look in his face though says more than words ever could. This will make for great reading,” said one reporter, moments before the abomination called an end to the press conference by falling for the fifth time.

At press time, Samuel was seen fighting in the Britannia Stadium car park with several other journalists over who would get to bring the effigy home with them.

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