FA to ban footballers using their heads to make decisions


The Football Association has outlined plans to introduce a full scale on footballers’ use of their heads when making decisions, according to a statement by the association today.

The plans centre on concerns amid the wider community of allowing professional footballers to choose words and actions using their heads and the inherent dangers that come about as a result.

“We’ve got to think about peoples’ safety and that’s what we’re doing. It’s simply too dangerous for a large number of footballers to be expected to use their heads so often without causing long lasting and serious damage to either themselves or those around them,” read the statement, adding that the effects of such decisions also apply to retired footballers, as illustrated by recent news of former players losing billions of pound due to poor investments.

“For too long we’ve sat idly by and allowed this dangerous behaviour to go on unchecked. Whether it’s a serious offence like racism or sexism, or even something as frivolous as Stephen Ireland’s pink Range Rover – we would be remiss to not step in and take action while we can.”

At press time, the FA had rejected calls to widen the ban to apply to its own officials, after complaints that the body’s decision making had left millions with headaches and nausea.

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