FC Barcelona explain “four-hand” handshake in bid to dispel sorcery rumours

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In a bid dispel rumours of witchcraft or sorcery, Barcelona have for the first time opened up to media about the club’s notorious handshake protocol, explaining that the “four-hand” handshake is merely a way to display the club’s togetherness.

Questions were raised when pictures of Rafinha’s contract renewal started circulating on social media as the player, his agent and club representatives were seen posing for a picture to confirm the deal in a four-way handshake.

A spokesperson for the club said: “Yes, it is true that we have put this new system in place to confirm contract renewals. We feel it encapsulates the club’s togetherness and definitely ins’t sorcery. After all, ‘més que un club’.”

Havig been shown a photo from Sergio Araujo’s loan signing in 2012, where only three hands were present, the spokesperson was keen to clarify the situation.

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“As you can see, this picture is very awkward, with no one really knowing where to put their hands. When four hands aren’t used, it leads to confusion. It breaks men,” he insisted, adding that it was no coincidence that Araujo’s form had dipped after the “sickening” and “bizarre” handshake.

As for Neymar’s claw-like handshake photo from 2013, the club refused to comment, though the player’s representatives strenuously denied that he is in fact some kind of half-lobster claw man.

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At press time the club had released a tweet once again rejecting any claims of witchcraft, instead stressing their love for lots of hands.

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