Cristiano Ronaldo practice of “magnanimous in defeat” face enters eighth hour


Cristiano Ronaldo’s practice of his “magnanimous in defeat” face has entered its eighth hour ahead of tonight’s Ballon d’Or ceremony in Zurich, Switzerland.

The Real Madrid forward is one of three players nominated for tonight’s prize, awarded annually to the world’s best player, but is expected to miss out to La Liga rival Lionel Messi.

Sources close to the Portugal captain say that while his intentions are good, the 30 year old appears no closer to perfecting the art of not looking furious upon defeat.

“Good on him, he’s sticking in there, but it appears impossible. Ever since he went in there this morning he’s either become very angry at the thought of losing, or started smiling uncontrollably after looking himself in the eye,” said one unnamed assistant.

“Honestly, if he doesn’t spit at the camera or rip the arm off his chair it will be a success at this stage.”

At press time, Ronaldo was practicing congratulatory and non-violent handshakes with a life size doll of Lionel Messi.