Arsene Wenger getting hang of “buying players in necessary positions thing”


Despairing at why no one had ever mentioned it to him before, Arsene Wenger today admitted that he’s getting the hang of “this whole buying players in necessary positions thing”.

Speaking after the north London club confirmed the signing of FC Basel and Egypt midfielder Mohamed Elneny, the Frenchman stated that he couldn’t believe how good it felt to recruit a player for a position that needs it.

“Why the fuck did no one say a word? I’ve been buying players in every other position and you’re telling me I could’ve reinforced a much-needed area in one deal? This is great,” said a delighted Wenger, adding that the discovery may lead him to continue buying players he needs.

“Why not? The market is there. The players are there if you look. Seriously, wow. I feel like a dope.”