Alan Curtis confident look of utter desolation and torture in eyes won’t affect players


Saying that it is an unfortunate situation but one that he hopes won’t get the better of his players, Swansea City co-manager Alan Curtis has today expressed confidence that the look of utter desolation in his eyes won’t affect his side.

The Welsh club have been struggling at the wrong end of the table in recent months, but Curtis has insisted that he will do everything in his power to ensure that the inconceivable pain emitted from his eyes will hinder him and no one else.

“Just because I see death in the mirror doesn’t mean the players have to,” said Curtis, adding that he has already informed his squad not to look him in the eye for prolonged periods of time under any circumstances.

“The players need to remember that the tortured souls they see when they stare into my eye holes are my problem and not theirs.”

At press time, Curtis had decided to conduct all team talks behind a curtain in a bid to prevent his players from being reminded of their inevitable and impending demise upon merely glancing at his globular organs.