FA releases new guidelines for not taking concussions seriously 

Saying that as an organisation they were embarrassed at having failed to act quicker, the Football Association today released a new set of guidelines instructing players and staff on how to not take concussions seriously.

Speaking at the launch of the initiative, FA chairman Greg Clarke said that while the guidelines were long overdue, he hoped they would help all those involved in the game to know exactly how to frivolously disregard the dangers of head injuries.

“This is an issue that we have put on the back burner for too long. With these new guidelines we have a clear set of rules and regulations in place to promptly and diligently ignore the perilous nature of brain damage and the affects it can have on someone’s health,” said the 60-year-old, adding that football would benefit from having one unified way to disregard the advice of conventional medicine.

Detailed within the report is a check list for players in the event that either they or a teammate suffer a head injury, including advice on how to “run it off”, “shake it off”, “toughen up” and “push on through”.

“If we stick to this agenda and work together, I firmly believe we can eliminate the conversation about concussions in football once and for all.”