Lack of Premier League football this weekend only now dawns on dim-witted fan


Describing it as a shock to his very core, a dim-witted football fan revealed just minutes ago that the total lack of Premier League football this weekend has only dawned on him now.

According to trainee accountant Pete McDonagh, it was not until going online to change his fantasy football team for the tenth time this week that he came to the sudden and shocking realisation that he would have to wait an entire week to watch the English top flight, much to his chagrin.

“The shock of it all was the hardest I think. I had it all planned out. Not once did I think it wouldn’t turn out as I’d imagined, not once,” said a sullen McDonagh, adding that had he was still struggling to process the information.

“You hear about this things happening to people you know but you never expect it to happen to you.”

At press time, McDonagh was ponderously deciding to do with the 48 hours this weekend he would have otherwise spent isolated in his apartment streaming Premier League matches.