Scientists discover last remaining human that doesn’t own Real Oviedo shares

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In a discovery described by some as groundbreaking, scientists have today revealed that they have discovered the last remaining human being that isn’t a shareholder in Real Oviedo.

Scientists from Trinity College, Dublin stumbled upon 29-year-old George Moore, a shop assistant from Longford, Ireland, while conducting field studies on the influential power of the masses.

“It was remarkable. We thought this impossible. It’s a serious breakthrough and something we’re all excited about,” said lead researcher Glynn Prat, adding that not only did Moore not own shares in the Spanish club, he had never heard of the club at all.

“At first we assumed he must have some shares and simply forgot but then, lo and behold, we checked his Twitter account and there was no line about being a shareholder.”

The excited team revealed that while the significance of the find remain unknown, Moore would undergo further tests after revelations that he did not have his own blog or consider himself a freelance journalist.