Jim White on verge of sealing deal for extra cocaine, say Sky sources


Jim White is said to be on the verge of completing a sensational deal for more cocaine ahead of today’s transfer deadline day festivities, according to Sky sources.

Speculation has circulated in recent days over White’s ability to successfully front Sky Sports News’ deadline day broadcast, with his cocaine reserves said to be increasingly low.

However, just hours before going on air, sources close to the Scot say he has agreed a deal worth in excess of €250 for an “unknown quantity” of cocaine.

“Jim is delighted with the deal. Of course, nothing is set in stone, but it’s looking positive,” said a source, adding that given the pressing nature of the purchase, nothing would be celebrated until Mr. White had the cocaine in his hands.

“We knew it would be touch and go right up until this morning, but at the end of the day all parties are intent on getting it done. It’s a great deal for all involved.”

At press time, a delighted White was said to have welcomed his new purchase by inserting large quantities of it into his bloodstream via his nostrils.