Increasingly confident Liverpool fans demand heated seats at Anfield


Insisting that they could sense weakness from the club’s board and the time to strike was now, increasingly cocksure Liverpool fans have reacted to the club’s freezing of season ticket prices by demanding new heated seats at Anfield.

The Heat My Seat campaign was borne out of fans who are tired of their bottoms getting increasingly cold in winter months, and has become a key issue since Liverpool owners Fenway Sports Group showed a willingness to compromise with fans over ticket prices.

“Getting the club to freeze season ticket prices was quite the struggle. We feel like the ball’s in our court right now so it’s a better time than any to make this request,” said supporter Trent McGuinness, adding that he had lost count of the amount of times his buttocks had gotten very cold while attending matches.

“To be honest, we’re not even that bothered about it, but it’s nice to be the ones doing the shafting for once.”

At press time, negotiations between club and supporters groups were at a crucial point over whether or not sweet popcorn should also be an option for fans.