Football executives around England have today expressed horror at proposed increases to the price of cocaine after and announcement by a group of the country’s top drug dealers yesterday.
Decrying the increases as an insult and highly unnecessary, a spokesman for executives in England’s professional football leagues stated that they felt betrayed by the decision.
“This is a disgrace. To have this done to you, after years of support to the industry, is upsetting,” said spokesman Brent McCulloch, adding that a price that suited all parties been agreed upon months ago. “We’re loyal customers and it’s just a slap in the face.”
“If the quality had improved noticeably in recent years we might find this easier to take, but it’s been a mix of brief highs followed by prolonged disappointment and regret. It’s just not good enough.”
At press time, a spokesperson for some of Liverpool’s top drug dealers stated that given an increase in demand, the new prices were fair and would remain.