Man Utd fan’s opinion on Glazer family entirely dependent on result of previous match


Saying that it’s becoming a real roller coaster ride, a Manchester United fan has today revealed that his opinion on the club’s owners, the Glazer family, is entirely dependent on the result of the side’s most recent match.

Speaking to assembled media today, 32-year-old Jerry Muldoon admitted that he’s truly torn between hating the Florida-based owners after every defeat and quite liking them after each victory.

“When we lose I obviously hate those fucking Americans, y’know? But then again, if we’re winning, they can’t be all bad, yeah?” said bartender Muldoon, adding that the owners did after all invest in Anthony Martial and the now-departed Angel Di Maria.

“It’s all too easy for fans to make up their minds and stick to that opinion without budging, but I’m flexible and above all else I care about this team’s immediate success. Nothing else.”

At press time, Muldoon refuted claims that he was fickle, saying that if the club finished outside of the Champions League places he would push for the Glazers to sell, unless they signed some good players.