Football journalist not sure he learned anything from Arsenal vs Barcelona


Saying that he surprised it hadn’t happened earlier, football journalist Tim Kenny admitted today that he’s really not sure if he learned anything from last night’s game between Arsenal and Barcelona.

Kenny revealed that he had racked his brain from the moment the game had ended and was still unable to conjure up one new piece of insight from the match up.

“It’s not that I was opposed to learning anything, I’m a journalist and I always keep an eye out for fresh observations,” said the 31-year-old, adding that he was unsure how anyone could have learned any new information from the Champions League tie. “I definitely didn’t learn five new things. No chance.”

“Deep down, I think I already knew that Messi, Suarez and Neymar were vital for Barca and that Arsenal lack a cutting edge. Equally, I don’t think I needed to watch last night’s game to know that Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain isn’t a top-level player.”

At press time, an embarrassed and distraught Kenny admitted that despite learning nothing new from the game, he had written an article claiming that he had.

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