Remi Garde wondering if anyone will notice if he just leaves now

Remi Garde

Looking around to see how many people were in the immediate vicinity, Aston Villa manager Remi Garde was today said to be wondering whether anyone at the club would notice if he just leaves now.

Sitting in his office after yet another Premier League defeat left his side further stranded at the bottom of the table, Garde was said to believed to be weighing up the pros and cons of getting up and walking out of the club without telling anyone.

“I reckon if I time it right I could do it without anyone noticing,” said the former Lyon coach, adding that he felt confident no one would say a word if he just legged it right now.

“Honest to God, if I just get the fuck out of here now and never come back, who’s gonna care?”

At press time, Garde had sprinted across the car park, grinning with joy at escaping the living hell.

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