Rafael Nadal’s enormous left arm speaks out in defence of Maria Sharapova


Saying that everyone should avoid jumping to conclusions with such little information, Rafael Nadal’s enormous left arm has today spoken out in defence of Maria Sharapova.

The Russian tennis player, who has won all four Grand Slam titles during her career, has come under fire after it was revealed that she had failed a drug test in January over her use of a recently-banned substance called meldonium.

Speaking today however, the Spanish superstar’s grotesquely mutated left appendage urged caution on the matter.

“We do not know all the details yet so perhaps we would benefit from waiting,” said the twitching and profusely sweating limb as it cast a shadow over the rest of the tennis player’s body.

“It’s all too easy to throw around allegations. Even I, Rafa Nadal’s arm, have been accused of impropriety at times, as crazy as it is to believe.”

At press time, the gargantuan extremity was in the midst of a fierce debate with the man whose body it is attached to over what sort of bans dopers in sport should serve.

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