Modern-day Wordsworth writes Eva Carneiro story with just one reference to her looks

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Detailing the meticulous literary methods he undertook to complete what he described as potentially his greatest work, modern-day Wordsworth Mike Jones today managed to write an article about Eva Carneiro with just one to the doctor’s appearance.

Speaking upon the publication of his article regarding the former Chelsea doctor’s court case against her former employers, the 26-year-old journalist revealed that he had to count on his many years of studies as well as his journalistic integrity to decide whether to use the word “sultry” or “bronzed”.

“This is what one studies for. A journalist lives and dies by his copy and I feel this latest piece of mine will stand the test of time,” said the London-based writer, adding that he prides himself on only referring to a woman’s appearance a maximum of two times while writing about them.

“In the end, I feel the annals of time will look as kindly on my sentence ‘Sultry doc struts into tribunal’ as it has literature’s other great works.”

At press time, the future Pulitzer prize winner was excitedly working on his next masterpiece, describing how a Premier League footballer had taken his girlfriend to a local Nando’s restaurant.

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