Saying that it was a close call but an ultimately fair decision, local sad man Royce Armsby today announced that footballers swapping shirts at half-time had moved ahead of not having a life or any discernible personality in his main list of annoyances.
Speaking today, the 39-year-old revealed that his main pet peeve had until now been the fact that he offers nothing to the world and never has, but that seeing players swap shirts at half-time had changed all that.
“I got so damn angry seeing these disrespectful twats swap shirts with those gimps that I almost spat out me tea,” said the Chelsea fan disliked by even his own parents, adding that he was so livid that for a brief moment he forgot that he has no job, no friends and spends all his time abusing people online.
“Sometimes in life certain things happen that make you re-evaluate what you consider important. While my lack of social skills, non-social skills, academic skills and general dislike of people remains an issue, shirt-swapping at half-time is much worse.”
At press time, Armsby had put the finishing touches to a badly-written 2,000 blog post detailing why the practice was so disrespectful, which would eventually be read by one solitary soul.