Rafa Benitez admits doubt over Mike Ashley survival


Citing his clearly poor diet and lifestyle, Rafa Benitez has today admitted his doubt at the prospect of Mike Ashley surviving for any substantial amount of time.

Benitez, who took control of his first Newcastle United game in a 1-0 defeat to Leicester City, revealed that despite the best efforts of everyone at the club, things don’t look good.

“It’s a grim situation. I knew it was bad before I came to the club but seeing the state of him up close has been a sobering reality check,” admitted the Spaniard, adding that it was surely only a matter of time before the 50-year-old’s “inevitable” demise.

“If you look at him, he’s in a very unhealthy state and has been for a long time. People had hoped Newcastle’s relegation might make him change but since their return to the Premier League he’s just gotten bigger and bigger.”

At press time, Benitez insisted that despite the poor outlook he would continue to work hard until it was mathematically and scientifically impossible for Ashley to continue living.

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