Urging his colleagues to sit down as he paced nervously at the front of the room, a Daily Mail reporter held a meeting today to remind his colleagues of their responsibility to adhere to the publication’s total lack of ethics.
Sources revealed that the reporter reminded them of the reason they got into journalism and to go back to basics after a number of days without any cruelly insensitive or offensive articles.
“For a while there we went a little crazy and forgot what we were all about,” said the unnamed writer, adding that a journalist is nothing without their total disrespect for all that is decent.
“We all want a good story, it’s in our blood. But we must remember to do so in the least ethical manner possible and in the most sensationalist way.”
While it can be tempting to write a story that covers many sides and is well-sourced, the journalist continued, it simply is not the Daily Mail way.
“When you’re old and retired and sitting in your chair, you want to be able to look back and know you’ve really demonised all ethnic groups fully and wholly.”
At press time, the journalist was reportedly delighted after giving the green light to an extensive piece on the clothing choices of a 13-year-old girl.
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