Saying that he couldn’t have come up with a better distraction if he’d thought of it himself, FIFA president Gianni Infantino has today expressed his hope that claims made against him as a result of the Panama Papers leaks will take attention away from the future corruption he has planned.
Implicated for his role in the awarding of television deals for major UEFA tournaments in the past, the Swiss administrator admitted that the allegations have really taken scrutiny away from all his current dealings.
“I can’t believe my luck if I’m honest. You always hope for something like this but you really never expect it,” said the former UEFA general secretary, adding that it was peace of mind to have people peering into his past when his future actions were set to be significantly more perverse.
“It’s up to me now to take this opportunity to be as corrupt in the present and future, and let everyone else concentrate on the past.”
At press time, a confident Infantino was denied claims he had peaked too soon, insisting his best corruption is yet to come.
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