FIFA appeased after Qatar 2022 organisers promise to only kill migrant workers when they really deserve it


Amid heightened tension and scrutiny from human rights groups, FIFA executives have today expressed their satisfaction with working conditions in Qatar after World Cup 2022 organisers promised to only kill migrant workers when they really deserve it.

Speaking after the release of a damning independent report by Harvard professor John Ruggie, senior executives at the world football governing body’s Zurich headquarters insisted that they were confident authorities in Doha would keep their word regarding reserving severe punishment for only the worst migrant workers.

“The findings from Mr. Ruggie’s report were extremely worrying and his claims are something we here at FIFA take very seriously. However, after hours of negotiations we are confident that our counterparts in Qatar will not renege on this agreement,” said FIFA president Gianni Infantino, adding that it was “only fair” to allow the World Cup management committee to murder workers they deemed “lazy” or “overtly vocal”.

“At the end of the day, we must be mindful of cultural differences and trust that our friends in Doha will do the right thing. They have assured us that they’ll no longer kill migrant workers for discrepancies such as dropping supplies and will reserve it purely for violations such as looking at women or speaking to superiors.”

At press time, FIFA revealed that their confidence in proceedings had been further boosted by the news that dead workers would no longer be buried in unmarked graves, and would instead have their mangled bodies sent to their country of origin.

Follow TBN Sport on Twitter.