Weary Sunderland players not sure if they can do it all over again next year


Insisting that they will continue to work to avoid relegation, weary Sunderland players today admitted that they’re really not sure if they can go through it all over again next year in the event that the club manage to stay in the Premier League.

Struggling to muster up enough enthusiasm to even discuss the topic, jaded squad members stated that while they want to remain in the top flight, the knowledge that this season would repeat itself again next year was tough to take.

“We don’t want to disappoint our fans and obviously we still strive to survive. But really, knowing that we’re going to have to go through this torturous charade next September is enough to make you want to pack it all in,” said defender John O’Shea, adding that the non-stop repetitious nature of the club’s struggles have made it difficult for him to differentiate between the past and present.

“Sometimes we’re playing and I actually think it’s 2013 again. Then suddenly I have a moment of clarity and it feels like years have passed in a moment and here we are, in the exact same place.”

“What’s the fucking point of it all, really?!” added Lee Cattermole.

At press time, O’Shea was daydreaming of relegation in a desperate bid to feel something.

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